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The Sarah Jane Adventures
(Series -- Sci Fi Channel; Fri. April 11, 7:30 p.m.)
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Sarah Jane Smith - Elisabeth Sladen
Maria Jackson - Yasmin Paige
Luke - Tommy Knight
Kelsey - Porsha Lawrence-Mavour
Mrs. Wormwood - Samantha Bond
Young Maria (Yasmin Paige), who's just moved to town along with her divorced dad (the parents here have about as much depth as in the Charlie Brown specials), espies neighbor Sarah Jane (Elisabeth Sladen) interacting with what looks to be an alien. Turns out after her travels through the time-space vortex with the good doctor, Sarah Jane has settled on Earth, where -- posing as a journalist(!) -- she quietly labors to thwart threats from aliens that spit out terrifyingly bad dialogue like "The time of man is over!"
In the 90-minute premiere (actually an ad-free hour on the BBC), Maria learns Sarah Jane's secret as they seek to stop a soda-pop marketer that's operated by slimy, tentacled aliens with nefarious goals. In shades of "Kyle XY," they encounter a genetically engineered boy (Tommy Knight) who lacks a navel and comes to earth as a blank slate, soaking up human language and emotion like a sponge.
The whole thing feels like a 1960s throwback and looks to have been cobbled together for about 20 bucks. And while "Dr. Who" (and its BBC America spinoff "Torchwood") has no shortage of Yank acolytes, this incarnation seems suited to kids who have just graduated to big-boy pants.
Nor does it help that Sarah Jane is a rather boring heroine, armed with a few gadgets and an alien computer. Fortunately, the adventures shrink to two-part half-hour installments after the premiere, with the next go-round involving even goofier aliens prone to fits of diabolical laughter and flatulence.
"There was only ever one man for me," Sarah Jane explains to Maria in the opener, later sighing, "Life on Earth could be an adventure. You just need to know where to look."
Unless you're 5, try looking elsewhere.
Camera, John Sorapure; production designer, Edward Thomas; editor, Mike Hopkins; music, Murray Gold, Sam Watts; visual effects supervisor, Dave Houghton; casting, Anji Carroll. RUNNING TIME: 90 MIN.
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