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Rock Monster
(Movie -- Sci Fi Channel, Sat. March 22, 9 p.m.)
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Jason - Chad Collins
Cassandra - Natalie Denise Sperl
Toni - Alicia Lagano
Dimitar - David Figlioli
The Colonel - Jon Polito
Jason (Chad Collins) is backpacking through an unidentified part of Eastern Europe when he and his doofus companions find a sword rather irresistibly sticking out of a stone. Far from Arthurian legend, though, pulling it out awakens a rock-formed monster, the subject of an ancient curse that improbably circles back to Jason's long-lost ancestors.
Because the mostly male viewers home watching Sci Fi on Saturday nights are perceived to be bloodthirsty morons, this leads to a few rather graphic killings. Yet O'Brien elevates the material with several knowing winks to movies such as "Jaws" (Jon Polito, as a crusty old general, channels a Robert Shaw speech) and "An American Werewolf in London" (pub revelers sour at the sight of these Yankee intruders).
At the action's core, too, is not just an unlikely and reluctant hero in Jason -- the seven-year, 10-major Cal Poly student who quickly woos an exotic local girl (Natalie Denise Sperl) -- but also his capable gal friend Toni (Alicia Lagano), who both finds her own boy toy and exhibits an amusing fondness for very, very big guns.
Not surprisingly, the "Rock Monster" narrative becomes a bit wobbly by the time it reaches its climactic section, but it's still a cut above most of these movies, which tend to have a mailed-in quality. Too bad the channel's programmers didn't recognize as much, scheduling the telepic against CBS' NCAA basketball coverage in much of the country -- March Madness is one of the few events a broadcaster can rely upon to attract a substantial young-male audience on Saturday night.
Chalk it up charitably to the fact that after you grow accustomed to watching so many bad movies, sometimes it's hard to remember what a decent one looks like.
Camera, Anton Bakarski; production designer, Borislav Michailovski; editor, Matt Michael; music, Tom Hiel; visual effects, Jivko Ivanov, Martin Marchev, Aleksandar Yochkolovski; casting, Rob Richards, Jonas Talkington. Running Time: 120 MIN.
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