During a film fest, your choice of hotel says just as much about you as your car does at home.

For example, the Hyatt is the equivalent of a lean, mean driving machine for people who are prepared to pay a bunch in order to be on the safe side. It's luxurious, but the long gray corridors may induce an eerie "Shining" feeling. Unsurprisingly, it's the preferred choice of Hollywood talent agents.

The Ritz Carlton and the Adlon are the Maybachs of the Berlin hotel scene. Ostentatious and unashamedly over the top, those spots are where the fest puts up the talent. Anyone who stays there by choice either suffers from an aesthetic misunderstanding or wants to be close to the stars.

The Mandala (ex-Madison), meanwhile, is where the praiseries have set up shop. During the day its elevators are crowded with scruffy journalists, fest programmers and publicists with that deer-caught-in-theheadlight look.

Buffed-up journos and latecomers on a budget are staying at the Marriot. The NH is full of day-tripping German chemists from Ludwigshafen and wannabe talent agents who'll never have the budget to pay'n play, let alone stay at the Hyatt.

The Kempinski on the Ku'Damm is for nostalgic traditionalists -- the kind of person who misses the old festival and hides away in the hotel bar to reminisce. People who stay here don't drive, they take cabs.

The Moevenpick, in contrast, is stylish and run with Swiss efficiency. An easy walk to the Martin Gropius Bau, it's favored by film buyers -- and by Asian arthouse distributors with a penchant for bright colors. It's the new Beetle of a hotel.

And last but not least, the Askansische Hof is for Helmut Newton lovers who are too old, too rich or too famous to be seen in Berlin's more interesting nightclubs -- which doesn't mean that they don't fantasize about them. It's small, stylish and idiosyncratic -- in other words, an Audi Quattro.

In any case, next time someone asks you where you're staying, it might not be an idle question.