USA Today's Scott Bowles has cooked up my absolute favorite pre-Oscar piece this week.  The angle is Jack Nicholson, the guy's guy lightener of rooms, and his 38 year history with the Super Bowl of Hollywood's film industry.

Any interview with Nicholson is a treat, since you don't come across one every day or anything, but Bowles gets some great quotes about the actor's first trip to the red carpet (way back in 1970), friendly wagers with colleagues, a backstage cordiality that impresses even the most seasoned of acting veterans and, of course, that devilish propensity for observing -- and chatting up -- the ladies.

Check it out:

In many ways, says Nicholson, 70, the Oscars have helped shape his career, create friendships and change his view of a business he joined "just to see some movie stars."

And there's little he hasn't done at the Academy Awards. It was at an Oscar ceremony that he decided it would be fashionable to wear sunglasses indoors. He has met his heroes, his fans and hit on more starlets than he'd care to admit.

"What can I say?" he says. "I'm an Oscar man. What are you going to do, not enjoy the beauties in the room?"

When he does hand out a statuette, it has been for best picture, which allows him to wander backstage whenever he wants for the duration of the show, "and no one asks what the hell I'm doing there."

Here's the bit about a bet Nicholson placed with Warren Beatty.  I can't get enough of this stuff:

He has made wagers there. He once bet friend and neighbor Warren Beatty he could slip in and out of a ceremony without being photographed by the media. Nicholson won the bet, though he won't say how much.

"I know back doors," he says, with his eyebrows breaking into that madman arch. "It's handy when you don't want all of your business hanging out there."

Still, he wouldn't mind taking home another statuette for himself.

"I wouldn't mind winning another," he says. "Even one of those sentimental ones for being a pain in the (butt) for so long."

It just wouldn't be an Oscar ceremony without Jack.  He's presented Best Picture two years in a row now, so I highly doubt that'll be his task yet again.  Perhaps Best Director?  Screenplays?  I don't know, seems a little below the Jack bar, no?

Anyway, give Scott's piece a look when you get a chance.  It's a hoot.  I only wish it were longer.