USA Today's Scott Bowles has cooked up my absolute favorite pre-Oscar piece this week.  The angle is Jack Nicholson, the guy's guy lightener of rooms, and his 38 year history with the Super Bowl of Hollywood's film industry.

Any interview with Nicholson is a treat, since you don't come across one every day or anything, but Bowles gets some great quotes about the actor's first trip to the red carpet (way back in 1970), friendly wagers with colleagues, a backstage cordiality that impresses even the most seasoned of acting veterans and, of course, that devilish propensity for observing -- and chatting up -- the ladies.

Check it out:

In many ways, says Nicholson, 70, the Oscars have helped shape his career, create friendships and change his view of a business he joined "just to see some movie stars."

And there's little he hasn't done at the Academy Awards. It was at an Oscar ceremony that he decided it would be fashionable to wear sunglasses indoors. He has met his heroes, his fans and hit on more starlets than he'd care to admit.

"What can I say?" he says. "I'm an Oscar man. What are you going to do, not enjoy the beauties in the room?"

When he does hand out a statuette, it has been for best picture, which allows him to wander backstage whenever he wants for the duration of the show, "and no one asks what the hell I'm doing there."

Here's the bit about a bet Nicholson placed with Warren Beatty.  I can't get enough of this stuff:

He has made wagers there. He once bet friend and neighbor Warren Beatty he could slip in and out of a ceremony without being photographed by the media. Nicholson won the bet, though he won't say how much.

"I know back doors," he says, with his eyebrows breaking into that madman arch. "It's handy when you don't want all of your business hanging out there."

Still, he wouldn't mind taking home another statuette for himself.

"I wouldn't mind winning another," he says. "Even one of those sentimental ones for being a pain in the (butt) for so long."

It just wouldn't be an Oscar ceremony without Jack.  He's presented Best Picture two years in a row now, so I highly doubt that'll be his task yet again.  Perhaps Best Director?  Screenplays?  I don't know, seems a little below the Jack bar, no?

Anyway, give Scott's piece a look when you get a chance.  It's a hoot.  I only wish it were longer.

•  Rainn Wilson will be stepping in for Sarah Silverman as host of the IFP Awards. [Variety]

•  Following in the footsteps of Nathaniel Rogers, David Carr offers up a list of contingency plans for a non-telecast Oscar ceremony. [The Carpetbagger]

•  Tom O'Neil becomes Oscar blogger #603 to quote A.O. Scott's "Sweeney Todd" review for all it's worth. [Gold Derby]

•  Slow news week much?  The LA Times offers up a gallery of Oscar winners turned blockbuster performers... [The Envelope]

•  ...and one covering the goings-on of Hollywood couples this year, of all things. [The Envelope]

•  Jeffrey Wells gives year's worst honors to "Are We Done Yet?" [Hollywood Elsewhere]

•  Ryan Pearson profiles "The Bucket List" star Jack Nicholson. [Associated Press]

•  Sasha Stone surveys the Best Picture field one...more...time, and keeps the ball rolling on Jamie Lynn Spears/"Juno."  Personally, I think that whole idea is a media creation. [Awards Daily]

•  David Poland offers one more Oscar column for 2007, somehow thinks the SAG-ignored "Sweeney Todd" is ahead of the SAG-embraced "Into the Wild." [Movie City News]

•  But at least he has his head in the right place regarding the fact that the Oscar ceremony simply won't shut down due to the strike. [The Hot Blog]

•  After this week's Vulture commentary on male nudity in films this year, Ramin Setoodeh offers up his list of 2007's top 10 nude scenes. [The Gold Digger]

•  Geoff Boucher cataches up with the brilliant Marjane Satrapi. [Los Angeles Times]

•  And Paul Brownfield catches up with the eccentric Julian Schnabel. [Los Angeles Times]

•  The "Eye on the Oscar" features look to film music... [Variety]

•  ...and visual effects. [Variety]

•  Will the industry really turn down the chance to get loaded on NBC's dime? [Variety]

•  Susan Thea Posnock talks to "Eastern Promises" star Viggo Mortensen. [Awards Daily]

•  T.L. Stanley thinks the Bay area critics picked the wrong western. [Gold Rush]

•  David Poland has a chat with Chicago Film Critics nominee Leslie Mann. [The Hot Blog]

•  Ramin Satoodeh attends the NYC premiere of "There Will Be Blood." [The Gold Digger]

•  New York Magazine takes a stab at predicting the Golden Globe nominees. [Vulture]

•  So does Tom O'Neil. [Gold Derby]

•  Lou Lumenick takes a Catholic Bishop to task regardin ghte message of "Juno."  Only in Oscar season, folks. [New York Post]

•  59 songs make the Oscar "short" list.  Pick three. [The Envelope]

•  Rachel Abramowitz talks to the "Bucket" boys, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. [Los Angeles Times]

•  Oprah Winfrey splits her advocacy between a presdential candidate and an Oscar contender. [USA Today]

•  The Hollywood Reporter is ripping off the web as they work on rebuilding their Oscar coverage sections. [In Contention]

•  The Buzzmeter finds new love for James McAvoy and Tim Burton. [The Envelope]

•  Rachel Abramowitz talks to Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman about the upcoming "The Bucket List." [The Envelope]

•  Having attended Monday night's screening of "There Will Be Blood," Todd Mrtens digs a little deeper into Jonny Greenwood's score. [Extended Play]

•  Anne Thompson on the twisted road of Oscar publicity, and Sunday night's Behind the Camera awards. [Thompson on Hollywood]

•  Elizabeth Snead adds her two cents on the awards. [The Envelope]

•  Jeffrey Wells thinks Oscar handicappers are hindered by an "obeisance before established power" when predicting the outcome of the awards season -- as if they have any real say in the proceedings. [Hollywood Elsewhere]

•  He also has a recording of Monday nights snooze-fest Q&A with David Ansen, Paul Thomas Anderson, Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Dano. [Hollywood Elsewhere]

•  David Poland talks to Best Actor dark horse Frank Langella about "Starting Out in the Evening," among other things. [The Hot Blog]

•  Sasha Stone gives in to Nikki Blonsky, observes a nomination for Best Actress is a possibility. [Awards Daily]

•  Ramin Setoodah thinks there are two lonks in the Oscar race for Best Picture: "Atonement" and "No Country for Old Men." [The Gold Digger]

•  Lou Lumenick's chart of ten for Best Picture. [New York Post]

•  Stephen Galloway previews a bleak Oscar slate. [The Hollywood Reporter]

•  But Sam Adams sees politics instead.  I hope the irony isn't lost on you.  [The Hollywood Reporter]

•  Diseny has an "Enchanted" music video starring Carrie Underwood in four formats. [Quicktime, Flash, Windows Media Player, iPod]

•  Warner Bros. kicks "I Am Legend" marking into high gear with a new website. [I-Am-Immune.com]

•  The Spirit awards go green. [Variety]