The joy of schlock
The Cannes Film Festival is always instructive when it comes to seeing whose careers have quietly taken a turn for the worse. (Neve Campbell is voicing an animated film, "Agent Crush," that appears to be produced with puppets leftover from "The Thunderbirds." She is the love interest opposite a character named Boris Goodpharter.)
However, I prefer to hunt for a rarer breed: the truly awful projects starring actors whose careers have gone to seed.
So, without further ado, I bring you:
FASHION THE MOVIE
AN INTERNATIONAL OBSTACLE COURSE FOR UNDERCOVER CIA AGENTS IN THE GLAMOROUS WORLD OF HIGH FASHION
Click here for the trailer. I promise it's worth it. It stars Michael Madsen, Darryl Hannah, Faye Dunaway and David Carradine. They all get to operate automatic weapons and wear berets that pull their faces even tighter.
The best part: It's a trilogy.
Michael Jones is the film festival editor at Variety.com. 
How delightful to see that in exchange for spending $$$$$ to advertise our picture AGENT CRUSH with Variety during Cannes, this unique films gets classified by the Variety staff as "shlock" - without ever screening it. The movie is still in post production. The puppets used in the movie have absolutely nothing in common with "The Thunderbirds" and neither does the technology used to animate them throughout the movie. A compelling enough reason not to ever waste our advertising dollars on a publications that so viciously seeks to destroy a project before it gets to see the light of day. AGENT CRUSH's worldwide distributor
Posted by: Roxane Barbat | 6/8/2007 12:31:21 PM
as never having a career, who am I to sneer, but OH HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN ... June Allyson had more dignity in her Depends Commercials
Posted by: Big Bomb | 5/24/2007 1:01:30 PM
I only speak the truth. They took out a two-page spread in Variety advertising the project that contains perhaps the worst photograph of Ms. Dunaway that I've ever seen.
Posted by: Dana Harris | 5/20/2007 1:32:02 AM
Okay. That cannot be for real. It''s a spoof or a joke.
Posted by: PETER LOWISMYERS | 5/19/2007 4:01:20 PM
wha? what was that?
Posted by: will | 5/19/2007 9:42:08 AM