The Circuit

Cannes officially began about two hours ago with the 10 am press screening of "My Blueberry Nights." We're waiting for the buzz that will follow; in the meantime, enjoy this tale from last year's festival. (A harried woman pushes buttons on a cell phone.)

WOMAN: (Journalist's name)? Hi, it's (Publicist) from (PR firm). I believe you were scheduled for an interview with (movie star) at 11 am?

JOURNALIST: Ohhh.

PUBLICIST: At the Majestic?

JOURNALIST: Oh. Ohhhh.

PUBLICIST: Are you on your way? Is there a problem?

JOURNALIST: I think I'm on the Cap D'Antibes.

PUBLICIST: Antibes? What you doing there?

JOURNALIST: I'm not sure. (pause) I had a lot to drink last night.

PUBLICIST: Do you know how you got there?

JOURNALIST: No.  

PUBLICIST: Do you know where you are?

JOURNALIST: I don't think so.

PUBLICIST: Are you alone?

JOURNALIST: I don't think so. (rustling noise) No.

PUBLICIST: You don't know who it is.

JOURNALIST: No.

PUBLICIST: Male or female?

JOURNALIST: I'm really not sure. Hold on. (More rustling, then a sigh of relief.) It's female. Thank God. (Dana Harris)