Another entirely true Cannes story
The collateral damage from yesterday's "Bee Movie" stunt wasn't Jerry Seinfeld's dignity. The zip line that carried him from the top of the Carlton Hotel to the beach? It ends on the Carlton Beach jetty -- the same one where Ashok Amritraj's guests were supposed to pick up a speedboat that would take them to a party on the S.S. Delphine Thursday night.
Instead, people walked to the end of the dock, opened the makeshift door on the "Bee Movie" facade and found a clutter of vaguely mechanical gear, a guard dog with a head like an anvil and no hope of a boat.
Turns out that the Carlton decided it wasn't possible to take down the zip line rigging that day and, as such, it was too dangerous to have people traipsing around it. Instead, yacht representatives were trying to grab people before they reached the beach and guide them toward a car that would take them to a more people-friendly dock two minutes away.
Fine. For me, anyway. However, one MGM exec was not amused. Presented with a seat in the Mercedes minivan, he said: "I don't do John."**
Replied the yacht representative, "Neither do I." (Dana Harris)
** Anyone have an idea what the hell he was saying? I get the point -- he's too important to suffer the ordinary inconveniences that would allow him to board a historic yacht -- but where did this snitty phrase come from?

Michael Jones is the film festival editor at Variety.com.












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