Obama code names revealed
What if Secret Service did the same for Hollywood?
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Bless their hearts.
The federal musclemen have let it be known (through channels, of course) that the new prez has been code-named “Renegade” — perhaps for his ability to win Southern states. Wife Michelle is “Renaissance,” with the kids “Radiance” and “Rosebud.” Evidently, all members of the family must begin with the same first letter — sounds like the U.S. bodyguards are addicted to NPR’s Puzzle Master.
Still, if the Secret Service can steal from Orson Welles, why can’t showbiz take a page from the government handbook?
Cable News Family:
Bill O’Reilly — Firefox
Keith Olbermann — Fireback
Anderson Cooper — Floodplain
Lou Dobbs — Fencepost
See? The feds are really on to something.
Family of Comedy:
Adam Sandler — Everyman
Judd Apatow — Everywhere
Jon Stewart — Everyday
Albert Brooks — Einstein
Media Mogul Family:
Sumner Redstone — Par Excellency
Leo Kirsch — Patcher Upper
Rupert Murdoch — Printerfamilias
Silvio Berlusconi — Prima Facie
Family of Note:
Quincy Jones — Quintessential
will.i.am — Quasi-present
Eminem — Quid pro quota
50 Cent — Quarterback
With liberals in power, the important thing is the spirit of the law.
Moviemaking Families Family:
Coen Brothers — Hudsuckers
Pang Brothers — Bloodsuckers
Wachowski Siblings — Oneseekers
Farrelly Brothers — Sploogemakers
Family of Counterintuitiveness:
Tina Fey — Governor
Arnold Schwarzenegger — Shrek
Leading actors:
Meryl Streep — Nominee
Tom Cruise — Valkyrie
Leo DiCaprio — Iceberg
Jodie Foster — Lambchop
Maybe they’ll take care of the credit crisis next.
