WITH THE SUPER Bowl and Winter Olympics on this week's menu, it seems an ideal time for the annual address on the state of sports television, which in summary has never looked better and never sounded worse.
Looked better because of advancements in technology and capacity, which include high-definition TV (for those who have it), improved graphics and cool innovations like replaying every pitch thrown to a baseball batter in rapid succession. Add in the explosion of channels -- allowing the "networks of NBC" to offer more than 400 hours of Olympic coverage, which averages out to just over 24 hours
per day -- and this is clearly the best of times, quite literally, because images have never been so clear or abundant.
Ah, if only that were true of the sound.
The art of sports broadcasting, from a play-by-play and commentary standpoint, has devolved to Neanderthal level, a rollicking circus of forced enthusiasm and excess. Consider, for example, ABC's planned 3½-hour Super Bowl pregame show featuring its ESPN crew, meaning the amount of babble about the game will run as long as the game itself.
"I don't think it's a bit much at all," ESPN exec VP of studio & remote production Norby Williamson said, without giggling, during a conference call last week.
The decline in the booth is largely attributable to a pair of former coaches, football's John Madden and college basketball's Dick Vitale, whose zeal, amusing at first, degenerated into self-parody ages ago. Vitale, particularly, has become so annoying that listening to him is a chore, as he increasingly talks about everything
but the game he's calling.
From there, a collection of ill-equipped ex-jocks moved into the color roles and, while this is hardly new, their reliance on jargon-laden exclamations has virtually created its own language, sort of like that Jodie Foster movie "Nell."
Similarly, ESPN's "SportsCenter" and Fox Sports have engaged in an escalating war of mirth, an arms race of idiocy. Since both enterprises run largely the same clips, massaging them with intonation and catchphrases ("Booya!") has become the perceived way to stand apart.
If this sounds like the "When I was a boy" ranting of an old crank, less-than-ancient peers in their 30s and 40s provide evidence that this is not an isolated lament. A
Variety colleague, for example, says he has avoided switching to digital cable precisely because of TV sportscasters. That's because the slight time delay in digital service creates an annoying lapse if you mute the TV volume and listen to the action on radio.
True enough, except that with some of the old-guard radio guys falling by the wayside, that medium isn't much better.
Indeed, the dumbing-down of sports broadcasting has even spread virally into print, where columnists like the Los Angeles Times' T.J. Simers try to approximate the snide, irritating tone of their TV counterparts. Not to be outdone, his colleague Bill Plaschke pens three-hankie pieces that should come with their own "Up Close and Personal" piano theme.
No one wants football and basketball announcers to behave as if they were doing golf, but restoring a semblance of sobriety would certainly be welcome. And while sports continues to be a reliable ratings grabber, there's no way to measure how many fans have reduced their viewing -- particularly when their favorite teams aren't involved -- simply because they want off the carnival ride.
Of course, sports guys assume they're doing the lord's work, and ESPN's Chris Berman -- another act that has long since grown stale -- acted indignant during the aforementioned conference call when asked where he draws the line between having fun and outright silliness. While the Super Bowl should be treated with respect, he said, "It's our job to make sure it's fun, high spirited, high energy."
Both the Super Bowl and Olympics have actually graduated beyond the confines of sports, becoming marketing showcases that eclipse the event itself.
It's the day in, day out coverage, rather, that provides the most vivid reminder of where sportscasting has been thrown for a loss, with little hope of rebounding.
By the most superficial standards, then, TV sports can take pride in its image: As Billy Crystal's Fernando character would say, it looks marvelous. Now, if only everyone would just shut up, or at least pump down the volume.
Contact Brian Lowry at
brian.lowry@variety.com