Posted: Sun., Nov. 13, 2005, 5:00am PT

Here's a proposition for you, governor…

Memo to: Arnold Schwarzenegger

From: Peter Bart

Re: your next role

You've always looked on the bright side of things, Arnold, so I recommend you analyze last week's election results this way: Your public wants you back on the bigscreen.

Sure, downbeat types might argue that, in rejecting your propositions, the voters of California were also rejecting you. Some might even suggest that your gubernatorial re-election bid next year seems doomed.

On the other hand, I'm sure you're reading it another way: Filmgoers are fed up with the fact that you're not making movies.

To be sure, a political comeback would entail major changes in your style and message. It would involve closing the gap with legislative leaders, ending your civil war with the teachers' lobby and dropping those moldy "Terminator" lines from your political vocabulary. You'd even have to start listening to people rather than barking at them.

OK, I know that's a stretch, Arnold. That's why I'd like you to consider the alternate strategy: restarting your movie career. I've been talking to some power agents, and here are a few of their suggestions:

  • In view of the critical success of "Brokeback Mountain," there's a good script around dealing with the relationship of two older gay politicians. Consider an Arnold-Warren Beatty vehicle. The agents believe it has major commercial appeal. Gay politicians are much more interesting than gay cowboys.

  • Sylvester Stallone is going back to his roots, making a new "Rocky" for MGM and Revolution. If Sly wants to box again at age 60, Arnold, why not do a movie about an aging bodybuilder who sets out to recapture his crown? That stalwart 50-plus audience would rally to your side.

  • Clint Eastwood has superbly demonstrated that a veteran star can turn his insights to directing. Since you're a hard-core control freak, Arnold, surely you could command a film set with great authority. You could even mend your fences with the teachers by directing a remake of "To Sir With Love" or "Goodbye, Mr. Chips."

The world is full of possibilities, Arnold. So I would urge you to reconsider your political options and then ponder the banner ads: Schwarzenegger and Beatty, together at last!

Contrary Terry

So here's the setup: A new nation called America is trying to settle into its alien environs. One of its stalwart leaders, John Smith, is causing ripples by banging Pocahontas, who is beautiful, but off-limits. The natives are growing restless -- both new and old natives.

This sounds like the sort of story that a filmmaker would enjoy discussing on the interview circuit, doesn't it? Except that the director in question is that famed agoraphobe, Terry Malick. And Malick, having delivered his film, "The New World," to New Line, is expected to replicate his actions of past years -- by disappearing. That means that, come Oscar time, when most filmmakers are on the cocktail-and-interview circuit, Malick will again be contemplating his navel in Texas, or wherever he lives.

Malick has behaved in like fashion going back to his earlier films like "The Thin Red Line" or "Badlands." He doesn't like interviews. This is a shame, since, having made a film with him once, I found him to be a great talker. A conversation with Malick may start in one direction and then, in mid-sentence, switch to an arcane epistemological peroration. A Rhodes Scholar, Malick is very smart. He's also distinctly offcenter.

I hope he comes out of hiding this year. I'd like to learn his take on what Pocahontas saw in this stuffy newcomer, John Smith -- a man who comes across in history books as vaguely George Bushian. Couldn't she do better?


TALKBACK:

Have an opinion about this article? Be the first to comment



Print Variety
Bookmark
Get Variety:
Variety Mobile Variety Digital Variety Home Delivery
Newsletter Signup:

Featured Jobs

Variety Real Estate