Posted: Tue., Mar. 18, 2003, 11:00pm PT

H'wood's Alpha female

Streep forgot prepared remarks, reads to-do list instead

By Bill Higgins

Meryl Streep shares her to-do list at a BevHills luncheon in her honor Monday, as 'Orchid Thief' author Susan Orlean looks on.

Debra Messing and Carrie Fisher talk over lunch at More magazine's soiree for Meryl Streep.

Lending truth to the adage that someone with talent can make reading the telephone book aloud fascinating, honoree Meryl Streep read her to-do list and brought down the house at Monday's More mag Alpha Woman award luncheon, co-hosted by Extra.

As guests finished dessert at the BevHills Hotel, Streep began by saying she hadn't known this was the first time the award was given and "wondered what had happened to last year's winner because I hadn't killed and eaten her. And, next year, would I be dropped down to beta? Or kappa kappa gamma?"

Streep said she had prepared remarks, but when she reached in her purse it was her to-do list, titled "Before California," she'd brought instead.

The Oscar nominee's tasks include: "Figure out how to download the SAT application … Make a play date for Louisa for Oscar weekend … Get Louisa a dress, take back the one she picked out … Unload both dishwashers … Make sure there's toilet paper in the guest bathrooms … Change the cat litter."

She paused here to say: "I have multiple degrees. Some I've earned, some are honorary, but I am the only person qualified, apparently, to clean the cat litter."

She continued: "Take out the garbage and the recycling … Thank Jacques Chirac for the flowers and the medal … Hang the pictures standing in the hall … Call Dad's doctor for updates … Think about Peter O'Toole's lifetime Oscar award tribute … Take back the borrowed clothes to Armani, take back the borrowed jewelry … Pick-up the other borrowed jewelry for the Oscars … Write a speech about the St. Lawrence cement plant … Thank Rachel for the pillow … Write Karel Reisz tribute for his memorial … Get pads for the hideous, uncomfortable Oscars shoes, try them on, get more pads if they don't work; you must be comfortable!"

Among those hearing this and at least 40 other tasks Streep has to attend to very soon were Carrie Fisher, Leeza Gibbons, Debra Messing, Susan Orlean, More editor Susan Crandell and Extra's Lisa Gregorisch-Dempsey.