This biz won't test well in heaven

Guest Column

By DAVID BROWN

Brown

John Wayne causing a stir by earning $500,000 now seems almost quaint.

This is directed to Hollywood's originals who have preceded me to the ultimate post-production facility in the sky. You might be astonished that I, older than some of you when you passed on, am still here.

The report is for all of you, especially Jack Warner, Darryl F. Zanuck, Harry Cohn, David O. Selznick, Irving Thalberg, Louis B. Mayer, Spyros Skouros, Sam Goldwyn and that newcomer Lew Wasserman. Lew probably has filled you in on some of what's going on. I'll do the rest. You won't believe what's happening down here.

You remember predicting that some day the inmates would run the asylum? What you didn't realize was that they would own the asylum.

Hollywood is now something of a loony bin, more than you can imagine. Spyros, remember when you warned me that giving John Wayne $500,000 a picture in a three-picture deal would ruin the industry? Well, how about $20 million for one picture for an actor half his size?

Sam and David, in your worst nightmare could you dream of a time when a movie titled "Jackass" with content to match would be the No. 1 box office hit in America? Darryl, you once said you would quit the industry if actors decided what pictures were made. That's what happened -- get Tom Cruise or Tom Hanks or Julia Roberts committed to a project and the picture is a go even though the subject matter may be the sex life of an earth worm.

There is an upside to actors backing pictures. They are more adventurous and passionate than studios. Examples: the Hanks-backed "Greek Wedding" and the Cruise-backed "Narc."

Remember when movies opened at the Radio City Music Hall exclusively and farmed out ever so gradually to the rest of the nation? Movies are now routinely opened in 2,000 to 3,000 theaters. Every tank town is a firstrun location -- no more neighborhood theaters. One weekend's business decides their fate. At $10 a ticket, filmmakers and exhibitors are still mostly losing money.

As for language onscreen since "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn" required the approval of all company presidents, screen language today is as raunchy as the repartee in a Knicks locker room after a bruising defeat. Cable television is even raunchier – but its shows are good.

Much else is different down here. Production costs are out of sight as are advertising and marketing. Thirty million dollars is considered a moderate marketing expenditure for a mainstream movie. One hundred million dollars is not an unusual cost for a major movie. Remember when "Jaws" was considered out of control at a nine and a half million negative cost and "The Sting" at five and one half sporting Redford and Newman at their peak of stardom?

You made your movies by gut feelings. Harry, you famously said you could detect a hit by the sensations in your derriere. Today, the assholes who govern movies are in the committees dominated by marketing executives. None of you ever permitted a sales executive to read a script or see a rough cut. Little wonder that as of this writing "Jackass" is the number one movie in America?

Then there are the "focus groups," culled from the shopping malls and other pools of consumers. They are the self-appointed critics who determine the fate and shape of films about to be released. I remember when you, Darryl, explained after a disastrous studio preview when everyone including the projectionist had left, "I don't even give a fuck what anyone says, this is a great picture." And it was. Your gut instinct prevailed.

Today's insanity is growing as studios become mere blips on the radar screen of multinational corporations. The passion is largely gone, as is the fun. MBAs have replaced the rogues, con men and roustabouts who made Hollywood colorful, great and fascinating. Meetings and job titles are proliferating at an alarming rate. Some stars are as inaccessible as members of the witness protection program.

It's not that great pictures do not slip through. HBO and Miramax are friendly venues that foster fine films. However, they get on by perseverance or luck as they always did. They're rarer now, and big studios no longer nurture them.

Now ruling the Hollywood roost are, with some important exceptions, the faceless bureaucrats whose devotion to the craft of filmmaking is as thin as prison soup. Yes, many directors, actors and writers still have passion, vision and conviction, but too many are adrift in a sea of creative compromise and consensus thinking. Like salmon, a notable few swim upstream and survive and even triumph. Too few, in my opinion.

--David Brown