Lincoln Bedroom: New showbiz hotel?

GOOD MORNING: Last month, Dana Carvey slept in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House on the invite of then-President George Bush. Last night, President Bill Clinton invited Linda Bloodworth-Thomason and Harry Thomason to be sleep-over guests in the White House. The Thomasons get back to terra firma (Hollywood) next week ... Could this be the start of something? Joan Collins, whom we loved to hate as Alexis on "Dynasty," will play "Roseanne's" rich, older first cousin (twice removed) in the episode that tapes next week. Collins' character and Roseanne start feuding when Joan tells Darlene (Sara Gilbert) to quit high school to pursue her dreams. (In real life, the very bright Sara's off to Yale next season.) Will Collins return for more eyebrow-lifting with "Roseanne"? ... Doc Severinsen, who has been touring with his original band from "The Tonight Show," will be in town next week to cameo in the Carl Reiner-directed "Fatal Instinct" (formerly titled "Triple Indemnity") ... Carole and Bill Haber had to abandon their Pacific Palisades home due to slippage from the rains. It's a total loss and they are house-hunting on lower ground--the beach. The Habers had been without heat, gas and water for a week. The house "will probably cave in," admitted Carole. "We had to walk away from it." We know they have homes in France, but that's a long commute to CAA's Beverly Hills office ... Roger Moore, who has a home in Gstaad, attends Audrey Hepburn's funeral services in Switzerland Sunday. He, too, was a roving ambassador for UNICEF. Roger and Audrey first met in 1949 when he was hired to do a commercial for a British skin cream called Valderma--his partner on the blurb was Audrey ... Sad to say Henry Plitt is desperately ill with cancer of the pancreas. He went home from Cedars-Sinai yesterday ... And Ruby Keeler, after undergoing tests, is home undergoing treatments. Send her a cheering card, too.

LESLIE NIELSEN IS GOD--in the "Herman's Head" seg he taped this week. Asked why he looks like Leslie Nielsen, God answers, "It depends on who's thinking of me. To Moses I was a burning bush, to DeMille I was Charlton Heston and to Herman-- I'm Leslie Nielsen." The show airs Feb. 28. The "Head" stage at Sunset/Gower has very strict security--both for fans in the stands and backstage. Because of God? ... In addition to the N.Y. Daily News' 170 firings, including their top critics, Kay Gardella got word during her TV press tour visit out here that henceforth she will only write two columns a week. Kay had been a six-day-a-week TV scribe for the News since 1946 ... Martha Raye joins the Acad tribute to femme Oscar winners Jan. 28. She was a Jean Hersholt Humanitarian awardee in 1969 ... Hal Kanter again hosts (fifth time) the Scripter Awards--Jan. 30 at the Doheny Memorial Library at USC. "People are eating dinner in a library," notes Kanter, "where, for generations, students have been thrown out for eating!" Among those expected are Geena Davis, Anne Archer and Penny Marshall ... Mike Nathanson addressed the Wharton Alumni Club and U. of Chi Graduate School of Business at the Marriott Century City. He described his job as an air traffic controller --keeping all the Columbia Pictures projects and people from crashing. And, talking about the future of the biz, he noted Sony's exploration into satellite delivery to theaters--and homes ... AFM buyers should be happy to hear that producer Stuart Lerner completed "Bimbo Penitentiary," starring Michelle Bauer ("Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" and "Chickboxer").

IT'S A DONE DEAL FOR MARTHA COOLIDGE to direct Geena Davis in "Angie I Says" for Joe Roth's Caravan Prods. Coolidge and Davis spent Inauguration Day in D.C., where Coolidge was one of the host committee for the DGA dinner ... It was SRO for the funeral of Mary (Mrs. Irving) Lazar yesterday. The speakers: Gregory Peck, Karen Lerner, Ahmet Ertegun and Fred De Cordova. Among those on hand: the Marvin Davises, David Begelmans, Jerry Perenchios, George Schlatters, Suzanne Pleshette and Tommy Gallagher, Michael Ovitzes, Franks Wellses, Carole Matthau, Joan and Jackie Collins, Shakira Caine, Bob Daly, Rupert Murdoch, etc. Mary will be missed by us all ... Joan and Herman Rush dined with Marion and Fred Pierce at Cicada. Rush, partnered with Ray Katz in TV-features, was talking possible teaming with Pierce, who commutes between L.A. and N.Y. on TV-feature projects (an untitled feature's to shoot in N.Y.) ... Marcello Mastroianni, making the awards publicity rounds, can be found lunching-dining at Madeo's ... On hand at the St. James's Club for Roddy McDowall's toasts to Joan Plowright (double Golden Globe nominee): Carole and Walter Matthau (with whom Joan wound "Dennis the Menace"), Charlton Heston, Karl Malden, Max Schell, Timothy Dalton, Dennis Hopper, Nina Foch, Juliet Mills and Maxwell Caulfield, Twiggy ... Mark Damon and wife Maggie are off to Europe for the 50th anni of the battle of Stalingrad--and the bow of his Vision Intl. banner's "Stalingrad." Damon returns via SanFran and NATPE for Vision's entry in the syndie world with "Johnny Bench's All-American Sports Club."