NEW YORK -- Producers
Tad Lowe and
Woody Thompson have an idea about why the Olympics on CBS are posting soft ratings numbers.
"These games are no longer relevant to our everyday lives," says Lowe. "Tell me the biathlon is relevant. Have you ever met a guy on cross-country skis with a shotgun on his back in your normal life?"
Back when the Olympics started, in 776 B.C., the sporting events were based on everyday activities, Thompson says. "Foot races made sense because that's how messages got delivered back then." The games -- sadly, he says -- just haven't kept up with the times.
The pair, known best for their "Pop-Up Video" work on VH1, got UPN execs to buy their logic and tonight viewers will be treated to the "1998 alt.games" -- the Olympics alternative.
Shot in Brooklyn by the same crew that shot the SuperBowl, with ESPN and ABC Sports-ster
Dick Schaap hosting, the show seeks to "elevate everyday people and challenges to the level of world-class competition."
Alt-Olympians will go for the gold in the following events:
- "The Disk" has challengers racing to be the first to successfully remove that pesky shrink-wrapping on CD covers.
- "Tab and Tip" involves the mathematical nightmare of determining the amount owed by each member of a dinner party of six, divided strictly according to who ate what ("And we all know how difficult that can be," Thompson adds).
- The "pairs competition" has couples practicing the art of parallel parking -- "the first twosome to squeeze their car into a tight space between two heavily alarmed vehicles wins."
Lowe and Thompson somehow managed to pull together a parade with a 40-piece band, and their alt.games mascot,
Icky the giant rat, can be seen rallying the crowd across the river from Manhattan.
"
Richard Jewell was definitely considering being part of the opening ceremonies," Lowe says. "But his lawyer said this just wasn't the vehicle for Richard right now."
Lowe hopes to bring Jewell into the fold for what will "certainly" be the summer alt.games -- and he's already got one of the events in mind.
"The most interesting thing about Nagano so far has been the snowboarder getting caught with a bong," he laughs.
"Avoiding getting caught -- that's an alt.games event right there."
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